Today, June 1, 2014, is the first day of 2014 Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”
The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: “It’s been said that patients who are able to talk about what they would do without their Headache or Migraine tend to be less depressed and more hopeful. Some patients have lost the ability to dream about their lives without the present taking hold and destroying their ability to dream of something better. ‘What would you do if your dream of a pain and a completely symptom free life, came true?’”
This is both easy and hard for me. Easy because I can name a number of things I would love to be able to do that are very difficult or impossible for me right now. The difficult part will be in being able to express just how much I want/need these things.
Since my migraines have become pretty much a daily thing, I have had to quit working and have applied for disability. This has many consequences that I am unhappy about and would love to change.
First, I want my children to have good role models in their lives. Between the 3 parent figures my children in their lives, not one of us is working. Their father is on disability, their step father is on disability, and I have applied for it. I don’t want them to think this is the way it should be. I am trying very hard to at least tell them that there is a better life out there and that not working is most likely not the life they should have.
I want to be able to give my children everything they need. It’s very tight trying to live off one person’s disability. The only way we are even remotely able to do it is because we live with Ted’s dad. If not for this, I’m not sure what we would do.
I want to be able to work again. I miss the interaction with people. I hate feeling like a drain on society instead of a contributor. I miss being able to help people. I miss adult interaction in general. Yes, I have Ted and his dad, but it’s not the same. This is a very small town, I’m not able to get out much, and I have missed many of my children’s activities. All of this contributes to me not interacting with people like I used to.
I feel bad that Ted is missing out on all the things he used to do. He used to have gaming nights with his friends at least once a week. He used to be able to help out with his kids a lot more than he can now.
My children keep asking me to read them a bedtime story or sing to them before bed. Because of my migraines, I tend to go to bed long before they do. This disappoints all of us. I want to be more of a presence in their lives, not just someone who sits around unable to do things with them.
**All pictures link to original site.