Changes and Hope

It’s been awhile since I posted anything at all, much less migraine related. I haven’t had a migraine-free day in 2 months. The appointment that I had scheduled for last week got moved to next week, by me. Last week was a week of storms. That was one of the least pleasant weeks I have had in a very long time. There was no way I would be able to make it to the appointment as it’s a 2 hour drive.

Migraine Monster

Migraine Monster

I decided to go back to counseling. One of the therapists drives to Wilbur once a week. Since that is only 15 minutes instead of the 45 minute drive to Davenport, it should be a lot easier to make it to appointments. While I was at the office, she recommended that I talk to one of the psychiatrists that works there. I was going to just make an appointment, but they has a cancellation. Talking with both of them helped me a great deal yesterday. I’ve been feeling pretty worthless and depressed lately. Both of them told me to remember that I do not feel this way by choice and to remind myself that “It’s not my fault”. The psychiatrist also told me that I am one of the more promising patients he has seen through this particular office. I don’t drink, as that can cause issues with my medications. I’ve never smoked or done any drugs. I’ve never contemplated suicide as I know that is NOT the answer. I don’t like living in pain, but I do like living.

Not Today

Not Today

He (the psychiatrist) has changed my antidepressant. Instead of the Prozac I’ve been taking for a few years, I will be trying Remeron. I will also be starting Seroquel. The thoughts for this is that it will help me sleep as well as being a boost for the Remeron. I might even be able to stop taking the Trazadone. I am also to ask my neurologist about switching from Gabapentin to Lyrica for my restless legs. He feels that it will work better.

The thing that surprised me the most was his recommendation that I try cannabis for both my migraines and my depression. Normally, he wouldn’t do that. However, given my lack of substance abuse history, he thinks I would benefit without overdoing it. I have thought about this on and off for close to a year now, but I’ve always been leery of actually trying it. Having a doctor’s recommendation actually eases my mind quite a bit. It will be one more thing to talk to the neurologist about, but that is not a bad thing. It’s obviously time to try something new. I can’t keep going like I have been. I’m miserable and my family is suffering.

Blooming Migraine

Blooming Migraine

He gave me another reason to talk to my neurologist about Botox; it has been shown to help depression. So not only does it have the potential to help with my pain, it could help with the the thoughts of worthlessness and despair. I’ll take either, though both would be wonderful.

He encouraged me to not give up on my dream of going back to work. He asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up (when I was in high school). When I told him that I had wanted to be an x-ray tech, he told me that it is still possible. If I can get my migraines under control, I can go back to school and make that old dream a reality.

It would be wonderful to be able to work again.

Migraine Dreams

Migraine Dreams

**All pictures link to original site.


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