Fear of Migraines

I have become afraid of my migraines. Granted, it’s only when I have to drive, but still. While I’ve never liked them, I’ve never been afraid of them. I blame it on the newest symptom. It reared it’s ugly head while I was driving and still over an hour away from home. It started with the dizzy spells. I’m no stranger to being dizzy with a migraine, however, it’s normally just a quick one and then it’s over for a few hours, if not the rest of the day. This time it was over and over again. I would get a few minutes between each one, but that was it. That’s when I called Ted to have him and his dad meet me to finish the drive. Then came the really scary part. The entire left side of my head started to tingle followed by a feeling of numbness. This scared me so much that I had Ted take me to the ER. I was hoping it was just a symptom of my migraine, but I had to be sure. When the doctor confirmed it, I was relieved and scared at the same time. Relieved that it wasn’t more serious, scared that it would become a new normal. How am I supposed to drive if I’m going to be having constant dizziness and/or numbness? I think I may have to get a medical ID bracelet.

I knew I needed to talk to my neurologist about this, but I was not looking forward to the drive. (It’s about 2 hours to get to his office.) I got lucky; Ted’s dad, Wayne, drove me. That eased my mind a bit. The appointment itself went well. I told him about my newest symptom. He said it’s normal and it’s something I’ll need to watch out for. I talked to him about my appointment with the psychiatrist. We decided to not do the Lyrica since the Gabapentin is working. He wants me to wait on the medical cannabis until we have decided that nothing else is working. He doesn’t do Botox in his office, but another neurologist close by does. We will look into that should the newest medication trial not work. It turns out that the medication I used when my back was spasming back during the winter is sometimes used as a migraine preventative. While I’m not looking forward to adding yet another medication, I’m glad to know that it’s one I’m used to. The only side effect for me is drowsiness. Since I will be taking it at night, this shouldn’t be an issue.

We also talked about creating either a pain plan or outpatient therapy. Since he doesn’t have privileges at the hospital closest to me, he said he would write a letter to my primary doctor to order the outpatient therapy for me. This would me that I wouldn’t have to deal with ER; I can just go to the outpatient therapy and they will treat me with the medications we have decided will work for me. Yay! No more dealing with doctors treating me like a drug seeker. Yes, I understand their reasoning, but at the same time, I’m tired of it.

I know everything will turn out ok. I just want to know when.


“Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”Veronica Roth, Divergent


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