Very Bad, No Good Day

Yesterday was easily the worst migraine I’ve had in a very long time. Yes, I have them daily. Yes, I’ve had worse pain, recently even. But I don’t know that I have ever felt so terrible during a migraine.

I started noticing symptoms as soon as my children got up. That should have clued me in. Normally, it takes a big longer before their antics start to bug me. Not only was it immediate, but they were more than just bugging me. I was outright annoyed. I can usually put up with them a bit, even when they bother me. Not this time.

Then the nausea hit.  That doesn’t usually hit until the afternoon and it usually isn’t so bad.

I managed to make it until after lunch before the worst hit: anxiety. Normally, it’s minor and short lived.  Not this time. It was like a constant panic attack, without the chest pain that I get. I couldn’t be around anyone, so I hid in my room. Every time I tried to leave it, I would get fidgety and cranky. Everything annoyed me: the dog, the cat, the kids, the feel of the blanket on my legs. It was easily the most uncomfortable I have ever been without being in immense pain.

I still feel bad for my family for having to put up with me yesterday. I was not even close to being at my best. Ted especially bore the brunt of it. He actually snapped at me yesterday, which is not normal. That started a crying jag, which didn’t help any.

I’m still not feeling well this morning. I hope it doesn’t turn out like yesterday. I’m not sure I can take another day like yesterday.

Pepper sticking very close to Mama. He knows I don't feel good.

Pepper sticking very close to Mama. He knows I don’t feel good.

Getting Better?

I think the Tizanidine just might be helping. That’s the muscle relaxer that my neurologist prescribed when I saw him a couple of weeks ago. I realized today that while I am still having daily headaches, I am not having daily migraines anymore. I’m still getting them more than a couple of times a week, but that is way better than daily. They have also quit being bilateral and now only happen unilaterally. I think this is progress, though I’m not completely sure. This gives me hope.

Migraine Clouds

Migraine Clouds

As for the outpatient therapy, it doesn’t look like that will be happening. Neither my primary doctor nor my neurologist have privileges at the hospital closest to me. While this may not make sense for my primary, I do understand it. The main office that she works out of is in a different town with a different hospital. This means that I need to talk to the neurologist about a pain plan that I can carry around with me to any ER I need to go to.

I’m still not comfortable driving long distances, but I don’t have much of a choice. My neurologist is 1 ½ to 2 hours away. The father of my children is 2 ½ to 3 hours away, as is the mother of Ted’s children. This makes it difficult to not drive. Someone has to do it, and I am more capable at the moment. I’m hoping that my trips this weekend will go ok.  If they do, that should help with the anxiety about driving.

Migraine Chains

Migraine Chains

I’m still having depression issues, but I know that new medication can take some time, so I’m mostly ok with it. I just hope that it starts working soon. I’m tired of crying so easily.

**All pictures link to original site.

Nerves of Steel?

Nerves of Confusion

Nerves of Confusion

Today is the day. Today I get the angry thing called my gallbladder out of me. I’m looking forward to not having this constant pain in my belly. I’m looking forward to being able to eat again. I know, I know….I’ll still have to watch what I eat to see if my body can handle it all.

Today I also get my tubes tied. Yay! No more birth control for me. I’m hoping that will help my migraines. Even if it doesn’t, it will still be nice to not have to worry about what the extra hormones are doing to my body. I’ve been on them for so long now, it’s going to be wonderful to have them gone.

While I’m glad to be able to have this all done at once, I’m nervous about the surgery itself. While I know doing them both at once is both safer and more convenient, I’m nervous about how the recovery will go. There is also the fact that I don’t have a very good reaction to anesthesia itself. I get very sick to my stomach and/or run a fever. My body doesn’t like it.

Deep breath.

I can do this. I will be just fine.

Nerves of Steel

Nerves of Steel

My Body is Falling Apart

FearI’ve stopped myself from crying at least twice since I got the call. I knew it was coming, but I was still hoping for it to be something else.

I have gallstones.

This means yet another surgery to be done this summer. This means even more changes to my diet than I was planning on to help me lose weight.

I’ve already had my appendix out as well as carpal tunnel surgery on my right wrist. I’m about to have my tubes tied and the only thing keeping me from being annoyed about that, is that it’s an elective surgery. I don’t have to have it done; I could just continue to be on birth control or risk getting pregnant again. Having another baby right now would not be a good thing. My health is not stable enough for it. I’ve been on birth control almost continuously since I was 17. That can’t be good for me.

A few people have suggested that I try to get them done at the same time. As much as I would love to do it that way, I really don’t know if it’s possible. I guess I can ask. I won’t be any worse off than I am now if they tell me no.

Tears of Fear

Tears of Fear

**All pictures link to original site.