Where to begin?
I think I’ll start with the fires. If you have seen any news about WA state lately, you will know that there are numerous wildfires right now. We are in that middle zone of not being close enough to be in danger, but still close enough to be very bothered by the smoke. Both Ted and I have been suffering from it. He is asthmatic and has been having some trouble breathing. For me, the smoke has been affecting my sinuses. Those in turn have been affecting my migraines. Add to that, the wind has picked up. While it drives away the smoke, the wind itself also affects my migraines. It has not been pleasant.
Sleep has always played a factor in my migraines. One of the medications I take is specially for that issue. This past week, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m not sure why. Going to sleep is taking longer, staying asleep isn’t happening. I’m not staying awake for any length of time when I do wake up, but it’s enough to make my head throb.
School starts in a week. This week, I am getting my girls up at the normal school time to get them started getting used to it. This also means that I can’t at least try to sleep in. I might try going back to bed after I get them up, showered, and dressed, but I don’t feel that is fair to them.
I have also started coloring again. This I am enjoying immensely. It is as calming as Zentangle but easier to put down and take a break if I need to. You can see some of the things I have colored here.
That’s all for now. I’ll try to be better about keeping everyone up to date.
Yesterday was easily the worst migraine I’ve had in a very long time. Yes, I have them daily. Yes, I’ve had worse pain, recently even. But I don’t know that I have ever felt so terrible during a migraine.
I started noticing symptoms as soon as my children got up. That should have clued me in. Normally, it takes a big longer before their antics start to bug me. Not only was it immediate, but they were more than just bugging me. I was outright annoyed. I can usually put up with them a bit, even when they bother me. Not this time.
Then the nausea hit. That doesn’t usually hit until the afternoon and it usually isn’t so bad.
I managed to make it until after lunch before the worst hit: anxiety. Normally, it’s minor and short lived. Not this time. It was like a constant panic attack, without the chest pain that I get. I couldn’t be around anyone, so I hid in my room. Every time I tried to leave it, I would get fidgety and cranky. Everything annoyed me: the dog, the cat, the kids, the feel of the blanket on my legs. It was easily the most uncomfortable I have ever been without being in immense pain.
I still feel bad for my family for having to put up with me yesterday. I was not even close to being at my best. Ted especially bore the brunt of it. He actually snapped at me yesterday, which is not normal. That started a crying jag, which didn’t help any.
I’m still not feeling well this morning. I hope it doesn’t turn out like yesterday. I’m not sure I can take another day like yesterday.
Pepper sticking very close to Mama. He knows I don’t feel good.
Today is the day before Easter. Most of you probably know this. What you may not know, is that our little town is having the annual Easter Egg Hunt today. My kids have really been looking forward to this. I’ve been looking forward to it, too, both because my kids will love it and because it will make me get out of the house.
Now, I’m bummed. I can feel a migraine coming on. I’m not in pain yet, but I still feel it. How, you ask? Simple. My kids are clear across the house, talking quietly, and I am feeling the urge to yell at them to please be quiet.
Time to take my Naratriptan and pray it works.
After reading this, I’m wondering if this is what is going on with me right now. It’s been about a month now since I’ve had a pain free day. The day may start relatively low on the pain scale, but it quickly escalates to the point where I’m, at minimum, laying on the couch with headphones on. While I’m not exactly trying to ignore the world, I’m not all there either. The pain is different every day. The extra symptoms are different every day. But it’s all always there. I have an appointment to see my specialist next week and I’m scared to see him. I don’t have any idea what he will tell me.
The last week has been agony. I’ve discovered that the week leading up to my period is the worst for migraines. Then there is the week of the period. Between the migraines, the cramps, and the back pain, it’s almost enough to make me regret getting my tubes tied and losing my IUD. I almost wonder if it would be beneficial to get a hysterectomy. I know that it’s not guaranteed to help, but at least I wouldn’t have that week of pure hell.
On a different topic, I’m not going to push myself to make the big posts like I usually do. Little ones like this are perfect. I get my thoughts out and I think that just might be a good thing. Baby steps.
Happy New Year
Happy New Year! My first New Year’s Resolution it to try to post something at least once a week. I feel that’s just often enough to keep me going without being so much that I burn out.
My second resolution I found here. Every day I will concentrate on what I CAN do (and never dwell on what I can’t do). What does this mean to me? Well, instead of worrying that I didn’t finish the laundry today (or even get it started), I will be ok with getting out of bed, getting the kids off to school, and feeding myself properly.
It’s been awhile since I posted anything. I apologize for that. It’s been a rough month. The medication that was added a few months ago is no longer helping as much as it was. I’ve been meaning to call my neurologist about it and I either keep forgetting or my brain hurts too much to do much. I guess I could ask Ted to call, but I feel like it’s my responsibility. Is that me being silly? I know he will help if I ask, but should I?
I’ve never been good at asking for help. It’s gotten worse as my migraines have gotten worse. It’s hard admitting to not being as strong as you should be. I think it’s even worse being a parent and have chronic pain. I don’t want my kids to see me as weak. Nor do I want them to think this is a normal thing. I want to be a good role model for them and I don’t feel like I am.
I’m also hoping to boost awareness as much as I can. I’m going to research as much as I can what I can do to educate people. It frustrates me how little I know. It’s even more painful when others don’t know what is needed to help those of us who have migraines.
If you let people into your life a little bit, they can be pretty damn amazing. ~ Sherman Alexie
**All pictures link to original site.
If you have been reading this for any length of time, you probably know that one of my biggest triggers is weather. Well, this week, that has been proven daily. I am now on day 5 of waking up with a migraine. Since I very rarely wake up with one, this is not normal. I’ve also had an aura all week. This usually means that I’ve had more than my normal symptoms. I’ve had a buzzing feeling in my head all week, as well as an occasion ringing in my left ear. I am worn out with fighting it all. I’m am seriously considering testing out the new Outpatient Therapy orders today. Hopefully, Ted is up to driving me.
**All pictures link to original site.