Long Overdue Update

Where to begin?

I think I’ll start with the fires. If you have seen any news about WA state lately, you will know that there are numerous wildfires right now. We are in that middle zone of not being close enough to be in danger, but still close enough to be very bothered by the smoke. Both Ted and I have been suffering from it. He is asthmatic and has been having some trouble breathing. For me, the smoke has been affecting my sinuses. Those in turn have been affecting my migraines. Add to that, the wind has picked up. While it drives away the smoke, the wind itself also affects my migraines. It has not been pleasant.

Sleep has always played a factor in my migraines. One of the medications I take is specially for that issue. This past week, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m not sure why. Going to sleep is taking longer, staying asleep isn’t happening. I’m not staying awake for any length of time when I do wake up, but it’s enough to make my head throb.

School starts in a week. This week, I am getting my girls up at the normal school time to get them started getting used to it. This also means that I can’t at least try to sleep in. I might try going back to bed after I get them up, showered, and dressed, but I don’t feel that is fair to them.

I have also started coloring again. This I am enjoying immensely. It is as calming as Zentangle but easier to put down and take a break if I need to. You can see some of the things I have colored here.

That’s all for now. I’ll try to be better about keeping everyone up to date.

Cheers!

A World Without Migraines

imagesJune is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”

The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: ““A Whole New World” video from the movie Aladdin.”

If I had better control of my migraines, the world would be new to me. I could once again do all the things I used to. I could try all the things I want to, but don’t for fear of causing a migraine.

More than anything, I want to be able to enjoy my children’s music programs. Right now, they are so painful for me that I don’t even go. It’s not fair to my kids and it’s not fair to me.

Just the other day, Ted and I were talking about going to something like Lollapalooza. I bet that would be so much fun. All the people and the all day concerts.

One of Ted’s friends has a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese every year. I would like to be able to handle that so we could go.

I want to be able to walk out of my house without a pair of sunglasses. I want to be able to see everything in it’s natural color and beauty.

I want to be able to plan a trip without having to worry about my migraines making it impossible to drive.

A world without migraines would definitely be “A Whole New World”.

A Whole New World - One without migraines.

A Whole New World – One without migraines.

 

**All pictures link to original site.

I Am Enough

imagesJune is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”

The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: ““The Power of Vulnerability” video that will make you laugh, cry, and laugh again.”

This really made me think. Do I really live this way? Do I need to expand my perception?

“If you can’t measure it, it doesn’t exist.” When it comes to migraines, we are asked to measure our pain. Do I need to measure just the head pain or are you asking for my discomfort in general? How do I separate these?

Living life with chronic pain makes you very vulnerable. You have to rely on others for help. You can’t do all that you want/need to. This makes it hard to be kind to yourself, which brings shame and fear. You are ashamed that you can not take care of yourself. You are afraid that those you depend on will not be there the next time you need them. This can make you try to distance yourself from them in order to not be as hurt when they disappear. When they do go, you blame them. It hurts less to think they are not good enough for you than for you to know that you are the reason they left.

It’s time for us to connect with ourselves. We need to know who we are instead of pretending to be what we think we should be. We have to be kind to ourselves instead of beating ourselves up for “mistakes”. We have to remember to feel all of our emotions, or we will feel none of them. If we believe we are worthy of love, we will know it when it is offered to us. When we hurt someone to keep them from hurting us, we have to acknowledge that we are wrong. We have to say, “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it.”

We have to believe that we are enough.

I *am* enough.

Migraine Changes

Migraine Changes

 

**All pictures link to original site.

I Dare You

imagesJune is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”

The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: ““Dare You”. Derek Hough and Amy Purdy dance to this inspiring song by Hardwell. See full lyrics here.”

We are all different people and have different dreams. Some dreams seem hard simply because we have obstacles in our path. While most obstacles are not of our making, some we put there ourselves. We tell ourselves that we can’t get over, around, or through them.

As children, we believe we can be anything. I have a daughter who wants to be a princess when she grows up. As adults, we are blocked by what we call “reality”. Why should this be the case? Why can’t we go chasing our dreams?

As a migraine sufferer, I dream of a life without migraines. While this is most likely not a possibility, I refuse to give up. I will keep working with and pushing my doctor to help me find what works to lessen not only the severity of the pain, but also the frequency. I will not allow myself to continue to live in this prison of pain.

Now for the challenge: I dare YOU. I dare you to chase your dreams, whatever they are. Find a way around the obstacles. Live the life you dream of.

I dare you.

Migraine Dreamcatcher

Migraine Dream Catcher

Field of Dreams

Field of Dreams

 

**All pictures link to original site.

Making Changes

imagesJune is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”

The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: “Why Change is So Hard” video.

This goes hand in hand with yesterday’s topic for me. I know that I need to change. I know it will be hard. I will have to pay careful attention to everything, but especially to my self control. I want to push myself just hard enough to accomplish my goals but I don’t want to exhaust myself and give up.

The phrase “what looks like laziness could actually be exhaustion” really struck me. There are times I know I look lazy. My fiance does the cooking and a great majority of the housework. I try to help when I can. Most days, however, I am exhausted from fighting with a migraine.

It will take time to make the changes needed, but I will do it.

Migraine Wheel

Migraine Wheel

Wheels of Time

Wheels of Time

 

**All pictures link to original site.

Migraine Chains

imagesJune is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”

The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: ““Hold On” video by Wilson Phillips.

I have always liked this song. Today, however, I look at it in a new light. I realize that I do lock myself in the chains of migraine too often. I worry too much about what *might* happen and not enough about what I really want to do. I’ve let my migraines walk all over me and make my life miserable. It’s not fair to me nor to my family. None of us needs to suffer this way and I’ve let it get worse than it is.

While I’m working on making things better, I just have to remember to keep holding on. Holding on for one more day will help me to make it. If I can do this today, I can do it tomorrow.

This is a good song. The only part that I don’t like is: “You’ve got no one to blame for your unhappiness/You got yourself into your own mess”. I never asked to have migraines. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Yes, I’ve made this mess worse than it should be, but I didn’t get myself into it.

I *will* break these chains.  Just see if I don’t.

Migraine Chains

Migraine Chains

Migraine Chains

Migraine Chains

**All pictures link to original site.

My Guardian Angels

imagesJune is Migraine & Headache Awareness Month. Migraine & Headache Awareness Month (MHAM) is an annual observation in the United States with the goal of building awareness, educating the public and reducing the stigma associated with Migraine, Cluster Headache and other Headache Disorders. The 2014 blog prompt theme is “Dreaming of a World without Headache and Migraine.”

The MHAM Blog Challenge prompt for today is: “Every Breath You Take” video Ally McBeal surprise. Robert Downey Jr and Sting duet. Write to us about someone special in your life who watches over you.

There are many people who watch over me. All of my family checks on me to see how I am doing. All of my friends have given me good advice as well as some wonderful surprises. There are, however, a few that stand out.

Ted, my fiance, has been my rock through our 3 years together. As my health has gotten worse, he has been there. A shoulder to cry on when needed and a kick in the butt when needed. I love him so very much and I don’t know what I would do without him.

My best friend, Alex, has also been a wonderful comfort to me. I’ve know Alex for a little over 6 years now. Even though we are many miles apart, we are still close. She has been an ear for me to cry to and a comedian to make me laugh. I miss her, but I’m glad for phones and Facebook to keep us connected.

I love and am very grateful for all the people in my life. You have all been so very good to me and I don’t know what I would without all of you.

Migraine Guardians

Migraine Guardians

**All pictures link to original site.